You'll come to Understand.


My End.. to 07'

Music: Britney Spears - Touch of my hand ( Bill Hamel Remix )

With less than 24 Hours till the Start of the New Year, Which looks to be a Golden Year. I want to Take you all into a step back with me into 2007, being a review and letting us all begin to the New Year with new Hopes and Dreams. As we all know this year wasn't the most Thankful year to everyone, and if anything was very much a painful year for us all. Lucky you guys who went through this year without anything as bad as this year was for most of us.

The year started to begin with such prospect and shine, with new friendships and bonds it seemed nothing could break. At least then. Things seemed to be slipping for everyone, and as things began to crash and crash.. it looked as i was unemployed again and without a gorgeous friend in my life because she sadly took it into her own hands and decision.

After an emotional trip to Canberra with "The Crew", with arguments, tears, lack of sleep, holden hands and love all being apart of everything, we all flew apart and leaped into different paths, different decisions, different choices and even different views.

Along with that came a great downfall of more upon more, a relationship that felt so real and strong broke apart before my eyes and i couldn't do much more than accept it and follow my ruin. and dig myself into the ground with the rest of my problems and fears staring at me.

Everything from there, feels blank.

And i personally don't want to dwell anymore into the rest of the torment and hurt this year has put upon me, because there is no reason for it.. i accept it as everything happens for a reason. I just don't want to dwell on those reasons, because i believe they wont allow me to live to my fullest potentional, to which i know that i have completely inside me.



With the year coming to the close, and opening the doorways into new pieces and shapes for me to understand.. i can honestly say that ive never felt more stronger, confident and wiser in my life than i feel now, and knowing no one understands the raw inside me as i keep it behind my skin and thoughts. I know everything is alright...

I know i am made for
people
love
purpose
laughter
friendship
hardship
honor
beauty
gossip
truth

and most of all..
Im Made for Me.

Because i cannot see the world being as Amazing as it is, without the acknowledgment that i Love what and who i am before standing on the Stage of the World and Understanding everything more better than what this year has thought me.
and for that.
I'm Thankful.

Im going to miss alot of what was taken away from me this year, but with that..
everything happens for a reason.

Goodbye 2007.

strong

Brave/Forget

Music: The Chemical Brothers

thing is, i don't care if im not here tomorrow. everything is happening for a reason, and The last two years have been clouds and before that was a Nightmare. Pain and Gripping, ugh annoyance of all things when it doesnt seem nothing much less than people dragging me into an abyss of madness and suicidal attempts and sure enough this year has had its fare share of impact of self infliction and destruction upon myself, with holding my breath and trying and trying.

Oh, how i wish i succeeded. sometimes i do, sometimes i long for the day i leave this place once and for all, leaving everything real.. and worthwhile behind. and why do i wish this ? why do i crave for the world to fade to black with another human leaving due to his own choice ? Because life, is discusting and nothing more than unrealistic frame of thought where people carry all their hopes and dreams high. Take them to the highest mountains, the highest peaks, the highest they can reach.. until everything comes, once after another .. crashing down in your face.

and your left as always to rebuild and rebuild.

construct construct and repair!




Why get to such a point to know that this is a path, a choice a motive, The End.
Throw it all aside, and see the dark side of the moon. it smiled at you. and at least feel.
Strength in Body and Soul
Love oneself, continue to understand why do these people care. They don't care. Its all you.
The road, is my stage.. and i'll make it what i want. Between me and You. No time to despise you, just don't deal with you.. I'm walking away. And i have no time for this unpleasantness.
Your all in my ear, your saying nothing new to me.

I'll follow my own path, i understand myself..
I love people, they love me.
Im everything i want in myself.

Fresh
2008

Let me make it alone
I'm ready to Jump
Are you Ready ?

Come in all your Power and Glory!

Music: Triple J

well because i have more time on my hands than a chinese gold farmer in wow, and im feeling rather lonely and having sleeping problems so time to let me feel free myself from this and take the time to write about something that has been on my mind lately, and i feel i can express it to no one but my guild in wow.. yet they seem to be keen on talking on sex and penis and rather stray from talking to me but instead are keen on knowing my ASL and penis size. >_>

Wrath Of The Lich King!

Now to all you who read my blog, im pretty sure you really wont understand alot of this post unless your big on Warcraft as it is about World of Warcraft. So sorry to only indulge a few reader's enjoying their Beverages or whatever in front of the Monitor's but at least im giving you a warning, instead of reading and shitting yourself's to tears.. kinda like how halfway through sex you realize its your hand, or some form of object or murloc.

So where to begin ?
Perhaps on whats supossed to be fed to us from our leaders!

1. Master the necromantic powers of the Death Knight – World of Warcraft's first Hero class.
2. Quest to level 80, gaining potent new abilities and talents along the way.
3. Learn the craft of spell augmentation with the new Inscription profession.
4. Brave the harsh new continent of Northrend, the icy domain of the Lich King.
5. Engage in epic siege warfare, deploying mighty siege engines to lay waste to destructible buildings in your path.
6. Transform your hero's look with new character-customization options, including new hairstyles and dances.
7. Explore perilous new dungeons filled with some of the deadliest creatures – and greatest treasures – on Azeroth.
8. And much, much more...

Well thats a tasty amount of New Stuff to feast upon, and really i see a whole stack adults, teenagers, children, old men, turtles, etc Drooling over the counter's when they purchase their copies of WOTLK (its shorter and easier.), makes for a intresting image though.


Now, "Death Knights" i personally cannot wait for these. As i hear they are going to be a challenge to play, and deal some serious Dps so lets all cheer with that with a hoorah but i don't understand a whole lot about how they will work. As at blizzcon it was explained that Death Knights would be using 'Runes' (Three rune types: blood, frost, and unholy) to cast their spells and such, but.. how is this going to work in PVP ? and PVE ? , it kinda baffles me. Because i think they would just be running into battle with Purchased runes and just losing them BG after BG so it doesnt really make a whole lot of interst in the PVP department unless they pick skills up like a Warlock where they get their Runes and they become like Soul Shards, but who really knows ?

Really, they seem and sound really useful to dungeons and raids, as their "Designed to fulfill both tanking and DPS roles." which could be something perhaps like a Warrior choosing Protection or Fury, but too bad for Death Knights they wont have any shields on them to block those blows as they only use bladed weapons, currently 1H and 2H swords and axes.
Really its all in waiting and seeing what and where the Death Knights will be taken and be overpowered or not, but it does make some interesting thought with the information given to us by blizzard and how they will fit into the game exactly.


With the Level cap and Customization, Again im curious.
and god do i know 13 year old nubs are going to be running around creating "Night Elf Mohawks" for the lulz >_> and hopefully they die out like a plague and formulate their own disease of fail and mutate purburty into some suicidal drug because its only cool "once".
With the level cap i have some nitpicking about it, because when Burning Crusade came out it completely wiped out the what was "Pre-Burning Crusade" Dungeons pretty much, and with that said.. who runs the old lvl 60 raids/dungeons ? ( Sure i found a Scholomance group the other day with Two 70's running around in there but that is besides the point, lol ) and really does anyone have to besides the level 70 Dungeons and Raids ? With patch 2.3 we got some spiffy new shit. And the thought of people actually doing those dungeons now is really pointless unless their lvl 70. With that being said the point im making is, its so easy to grow in level easily now as i was leveling my mage i would hit around his mid 50's with 2 Dings per day.. and im sure if i committed more time i could say 3 Dings! But with the dungeons and easily leveling, will the Burning Crusade Dungeons and Raids become Abondonned like the Pre-BC Dungeons/Raids ? and what use will current Tier gear be if people know they can get better Tier gear when they Hit 80, much like when they went into Hellfire Peninsula and were soon to realize " Omg, BC Greens are better than my Onyxia and Ragnaros Drops!! " to soon say " pfft, my gruuls lair stuff is just garbage now ". Another thing, What are we going to do with another 10 Talent Points ? Will we be getting bigger talent tree's too ? Omg Please!

Atleast we are getting something LONG awaited, The Character Customization.
Sure i dont think we would be able to choose weight and height and stuff like that as its pretty much pointless, but that realism would be nice.. but this is warcraft, how the heck could it take realism into consideration. Really, i see with people are going to have the chance to have a little more fun in the game than they already do, and constantly waste their gold on new Hairstyles. Why not Blizzard put into the game, Hairdressing as a Profession ?
you could even commit to the Professionalism by washing your clients hair, gowning them, offering Salon Magazines and refreshments and Work on their hair and finish off with Offering Products ? Sure im taking it WAY too far, but hey its an idea.. and it could work.. maybe.. -smacks head-, perhaps it could be a small part of a " Body modification " Profession including Piercings, Tattoo's and Scarification... now THAT would make me reroll from my Jewelcrafting.


Now, The ability to Augment my Fireball to enhance a Knockback Effect ? HECK YES!!
Inscriptions look like their going to be one of the most usefull and money making abilities yet to come, sure it confused me at first when i heard about it but i did some research on the Available information about the Profession itself and god does it look good. I dont think i would reroll for it, but i think its something i would let my Death Knight have, just because im stupid like that. But with really the minimal information i have on it, i cant explain it a whole lot apart from what's given to us.. but all i know is that its probably going to be one of the most Useful Professions ever. But if your around The 70 level's and hanging out around The Aldor and Scryer, you may notice that vendors in their respective banks in Shattrath have Inscriptions! Though they do require level 64 and Honored Reputation with their respective faction, and the Greater Inscriptions require level 70 and Exalted Reputation they are in the game and Rather useful to your Shoulder Slots, but they can only be used on items you own, and will soulbind any items that are not already Soulbind if Applied.


Welcoming myself into the Harsh, Icy Northrend that is under control of The Lich King is what im definately looking forward to doing in the game, and that also being is that i can understand more about The Combination of The Lich King and Arthas being one. and That is what made " The Frozen Throne " fucking epic, and sure someone might've seen it coming with everyones conclusion that Arthas fucked himself up a bit due to his Corruption but im Expecting alot more of the Lore of Warcraft to Be what is going to make WOTLK Amazing!
A new feature we will be getting in the game, much like how in Outland we would look to the skies to see Planets, Nebula's, Floating Rocks, etc In Northrend we will be treated to some Proper Skies. That being clouds and movement of weather and such, and THAT is another big reason of why i am looking forward to this Expansion. Sure the contentinent itself is going to be amazing and i cannot wait to explore it on My Mage and such, but more than ever i think we all do have a treat incomming for us with Weather and The Terrain in Northrend.

and really i think i have covered all i really want to cover.
sure i wanna cover more when i get the additional information but that depends on if i will blog it myself or not, but im hoping i didnt bore most of you and im hoping that some of this does make sense and perhaps we can chat about it sometime!

Until Next Time.
- 808

let's put a smile on that face.

Why so serious ?

Music: Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler

and indeed as my title says, Why So Serious ?
In the last week, The Dark Knight Trailer was leaked online due to someone recording it on their Phone and then enabling it for download on P2P Websites. Now the Proper Trailer is now available to view and download here. and what have i seen most of the time when i link someone or when i see comments floating around the communities that are talking about this. Its something to do with Jack Nicholson's Performance of the Joker. Or some idea of Heath Ledger wont be good enough, etc. Really people being close to jump at His performance.

Now im not going to write and explain to those people their all wrong, in fact they make a clear point, but realize at the same time.. This isn't supposed to be Jack Nicholson, It isn't even the same Franchise anymore its a New interpretation in the Batman Films, Telling origins of Batman with Inspirations from the Classic Comic Book Story lines. So please understand that as well.

Not to mention this isnt the First time we have seen a NEW Joker, as im sure most Batman fans about the cartoon series: The Batman, Batman: The Animated Series, Batman Beyond,etc.
And when each of those series was born, the always was a different Joker each time.( Sure, maybe not Batman Beyond.. but if you've seen the TV Movie you would understand ).

And maybe now with Heath Ledger as the Joker, we can see a Joker like none other than before.
of course we see nothing much else from the Trailer, but there also is the Movie Prologue floating around the internet too. We have the posters, a few images and there's a few interview's with members of the Movie online as well. But from what other things i have seen, there is a few other things floating around the internet that make me think alot. Internet Blogger, Perez Hilton got some Promotional gear for the movie, and its interesting what happens. John Mayer also got some promotional gear too. There is also some Viral Marketing websites out there too.

To me, The joker's insanity runs deep, Into everything he does. and his actions show he is Truly Inhumanly Brutal. Not to hesitate from Shooting Barbara Gordon, Murdering Jason Todd And Sarah Gordon, All without hesitation.. but really no full reason as to he did these. It all comes as if it was nothing more than him not Hesitating from his Insanity and doing what he felt suited.
with, Heath Ledger we're not seeing a Joker who will be in an Art Gallery painting on art with " Prince " playing in the background, Or a Joker who is Comedic to the point of puking.
It's obvious that this Joker, is different.

One who wears War Paint Makeup, to never take it off but to exaggerate his facial scaring which apparently worsens during the film to look like an Infection. Where the actor lived alone in a hotel room for a month, to formulate the character, also Guiding himself by writing a Diary of the Joker's Thoughts and Feelings aswell as looking at the Comics Batman: The Killing Joke and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth. He also cited inspiration in A Clockwork Orange and Sid Vicious. Playing the role also put a strain on the Heath's sleeping patterns.

Really, Heath Ledger's Interpretation seems fairly close to what i call " The Joker ".
Sure enough, im ready to be disappointed if it comes to that. But what im trying to tell in this post is..

Dont Expect What You Want.

Because it also applies to me, just be more open minded and wait.

moving.

inspire / future

Music: Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler

i don't give a fuck anymore to be sincere to people who don't deserve it, im over the majority of them being negative and painful when all that is there is gossip circulating around them and their friends which turn into rumors and bullshit, which never existed and really i don't care much for that at all. I Just don't care about them anymore, theres no need for them to be in my life or yet alone follow me around like a lost animal. For a Very Very long time, they were all that i loved. and all that i cared about, and all of the time i went out of my way for them. They didn't even have to do a whole lot (not like they did) and I'd be sure to make sure that everything would work out okay, if there ever was a problem. I would always be their shoulder for them to cry on and and their ear to listen to, i cried for them and hoped they could live happier and make their problems vanish.

I Loved Them more than Anything.

I suddenly starting catching on how manipulating they were, and how much of a fool i was to be nothing more than a rag doll for them, and really.. it hurts. They never had to go out of their way, ever. They knew that i was there everyday for them, i would of given them anything they wanted.. but instead they treated me nothing more than people they despised and took advantage of me, over and over again. Because i loved them more than i loved anything, even more than myself. And now, im rather thankful for how life is..:

I'm setting myself goals, I'm Starting a new future for myself, And for once in a Very long time.. I'm Happy, Confident and I Love myself more than anything. I know i have more potential than most people see and tell me and with this im going to make something of myself, I'm following pathways and making the puzzle pieces I've lost of my life back again and building a new yellow brick road, the reach my very own Emerald City.

I'm so Thankful that i am able to find Influences in such amazing people as well, makes me know that people like myself Do go far and Will go far, and that's what makes them Amazing.
My Biggest influence in my life is Definitely: Raquel Reed.
Beyond what you see on the surface of her Blue hair, she has the most gorgeous personality i have ever seen. And i know i have not ever met her, yet alone talk to her.. what she does makes me love her more and more. Her photoshoots, Art, Blogs, Videos, Personality, etc Everything just inspires me to become a better person in myself and become Confident in myself more than focusing on anything else.

Aswell as my other influences who are close behind Raquel ( Karl Lagerfield, Victoria Beckham, Dave Ghahan, Freddie Mercury, Kat Von D, David LaChapelle, Tyra Banks, Pete Burns, Bam Magera, etc ) i would have to say that im so happy i have close people to me who believe in me and help me to succeed, everyday. They've been there since what feels like forever, and im so thankful im apart of their hearts and lives.

I hope one day that those who did me wrong, can find them selfs and realize their problems.
They don't deserve my time, or my love.

freedom.

doubt

Music: Aphex Twin - [formula]

if this is current. why do i feel constantly alone.
commitment is there ? drops blister from each thought, like staples to pulses.
im unsure of you i don't know if this is what you want. is it ?
im not just here, for your purpose. i commit. i offer myself to the birds, to feed upon my limbs.
pulling and prosthetic, red and cold. Its all i know.

i doubt all, insecure of you.
fear and worry

dream state, now wasteland of war.
can't free me anymore. where worlds began, and process was easy.
nothing

can untangle these chains
breaking breathing, to matter of which is none of who i am

express yourself.
dont repress yourself.

Me Myself & I

[ it started over, ]

Music: Darren Hayes - Verge of Something Wonderful

Collision and Crash after another burn right through Brains and Impulses over months and months, i was astonished built up walls cause so much. Lashing fists and exposed Gums, noise of breakout and crave of plastic breathing. I didn't have the strength before to keep on lying to myself, and telling myself im nothing.. a dud.. something that does not work at all.

Built Incorrectly, its cold.. and uncommon. Termination looked as all the meaning was there.
nothing








the puzzle

pieces
are coming from no where

and i think
independence

verge
rising