burning, forever.

Lawn Wake IX

Music: Flashbulb

people are ever so bliss, blooming in naive and uncertain how others may react.
it makes it alot more interesting if those of which their expressions are thrown upon are already suffering, but rather than offer the hand to help you continue to crown them in more salt to the flesh. my life late of a story tale really.
completely uncertain if i want to be around or even cared about, for as people try to care contradictions burn from their dragon jaws and continue to burn me in flames continuously and never to stop, never and ever unless they realize how fragile bionic is, for really suffering is only that he has come to know forever as his only and pure emotion he can synthesize with.

[ ] before bionic. as always.

i feel existence is merely.. a dream.
and peace, ....



you show me.

restart

up, down.

Music: Timbaland

so really ive found it hard to sleep lately, of course im sleeping during the day mainly.. and its doing terrible things to my skin, ugh.. i look so white and paste like. totally disliking it. but eh, the spare time i have doesn't really help much.
kinda wishing i had money to look better really, sure enough ive become more fashion prone since i last brought clothes as i want to look into proper sizes and very fashionable/matty clothing, kinda wanting to make different variations on my wardrobe such as "school clothes", "night clothes", "day clothes", "lazy clothes".. not all to specific.. but i want more clothes for occasions and more assesories aswell as shoes. meh, i just wanna look good and make impressions, as i want to be in the industry thats all about impression. Not to mention i HATE my hair currently.. its red and black, and i keep getting told i look like a AFL Supporter.. which i am not, i fucking hate AFL and im over my red anyway it was cool for a few days, now its cheap. aswell as my black the regrowth is eating it away ugh.. disgusting.

im so broke.
im not kidding 5 dollars to my name. till god knows when.
needs new jobs!

ugh, im so over being poor its fucking depressive. especially when i want to go out and have fun, but everyone seems busy or not wanting to contact me.. the lezzos and queers arnt talking or inviting me out that much, dunno why.. its kinda retarded. but meh.

i just wanna excite myself, im getting very bored and feeling very blah and cheap.

fuck

Music: Girl Talk

Im so over being a mockery to people and their fucking needs, im so fucking over the negativity people put on me even when i feel such heartache already... im really reaching my points and im so sick of reaching this crossroad constantly and constantly... people are just becoming such fuck heads, im really considering just moving away its been on my mind but if i could get my apprenticeships is Sydney perhaps and just fuck away from this place for three years i could probably would be so positive, i mean no one really wants to talk to me down here.. and when they do its just complete utter garbage and hurt.

people are so detached from being human anymore. seriously.
even my friends are detaching from me so easily, when im at a bright time.. and look and me now.

whatever.
im going to try and sleep, i probably wont.. when im like this i trash around to eventually go outside and break shit.. ugh..
picture this post is from America's Next Top Model, personally i don't like Renee, but fuck i love this photo of her.. its her dying from being poisoned but bringing life to the picture. eh, i thought it was appropriate.